Sad

I'm using this as an outlet for this post so bare with me... I hate today. I hate that we are at war. I don't understand why people hate other people. Aren't we all from the same place. Didn't we all come down here for the same reason?
I love you so much Joshua. It is almost unbareable to be this far away from you knowing the circumstances that you are put in. I am at a loss as to what to do without you.
It's so incredibly hard to put a strong face on and go on with my day. Raising our 2 beautiful boy's is sooooo hard without you. They remind me so much of you. Rykkar is the spitting image of his daddy with your big loving heart. Bentley has your adventurous, mischievous side and is always one step ahead of me.
It feels twice as hard having you gone as you are not just my husband and companion, but you are my true best friend. I tell you everything. I never hold back with you. I can confide in you and express myself in every way.
While you are gone I just talk to my heart. You are in there, as close to me as possible. To the average stranger I would sound like a crazy person, yakking to myself... But I know that you are in there, always listening and understanding me.
Be safe, and come home to us. I love you always and forever no matter what!

Your Best Friend and Wife, Amanda